Harry Potter and the Ghoti Stone?

Dearest B.,

I had the most amazing experience yesterday. My friend R. and I decided to get together and see a movie as part of our sliding into the New Year groove. We both wanted to see Rabbit Hole and agreed to meet at Bethesda Row to see the 4:55 show.

We were both blown away by the performances of the cast. What I was struck with the most as I watched the film is how much the understated and subtle performances are the greatest strength of the film. Both Nicole Kidman and Diane Weist were exceptional in delivering an emotional punch in their respective roles as mother and daughter. Each of whom had lost a son and now have the common bond of the associated pain and grief resulting from each of their losses.

The scene that resonated with me the most was the one in which the Becca character asks her mother if it ever goes away. At first the mother looks rather startled and confused, which then transforms into a look of understanding and says, “No. It never goes away. But it gets easier.” And goes on to explain that eventually rather than being unbearable, it becomes like a brick that you carry around in your pocket. You feel it, you know it’s there, but it doesn’t overwhelm you. But it never let’s you forget that it’s there.

I found that exchange between mother and daughter and the idea expressed to be so brilliant in so many ways. Firstly, the fact that it does perfectly express what it feels like to be overwhelmed by grief. And secondly, that the metaphor was quite apt as to what it feels like to carry grief of any kind. Whether it’s the grief that one might feel for the loss of a loved one or the grief that one might feel for the loss of a relationship―it never goes away. However, it does get easier with time and there comes a point where it’s just a part of you.

After the movie, R. and I headed over to a most amazing Lebanese restaurant in North Bethesda to have dinner with her significant other H. After we’d ordered and while we were sitting and chatting and waiting for the first course to arrive R. suddenly said, “Oh, I almost forgot.” as she reached into her purse, “I got you something in Costa Rica.” She laid a small white gift bag, with a smaller blue bag tucked within it onto the table.

“If you don’t like it. It’s okay.” she said with a look of chagrin. “But it made me think of you.”

“I’m sure I will love it.” I said as I pulled the small blue bag from the slightly larger white one. “Oh my God. This is AMAZING!” I said as I pulled a necklace from the bag which was made from a bit of rubber cord, silver findings and a small tear drop stone with a fish like design in the center of the stone.”

“I’m so glad you like it.” replied R. relieved.

“Wow. I can’t figure out if the design is inlayed.” I said rubbing the stone. “Or if it’s a fossilized image.”

“Supposedly it’s a fossil created by a squid.” R. offered.

“Oh my god. I love it. Thank you so much.” I said reaching over to give R. a hug.

“You’re very welcome.” she smiled.

After I got home I examined the stone more closely. It appears to be a piece of obsidian with the fossilized image within it. I’ve since done some research on the interwebs and I’ve discovered it’s an Orthoceras.  And according to a web site I found they’re good to increase life span, reduce toxins, anxiety, stress, balance the emotions, make one more confident. Containing supernatural and physical healing powers, they promote a sense of pride and success in business. Healers use fossils to enhance telepathy and stimulate the mind. Traditionally, fossils have been used to aid in reducing tiredness, fatigue, digestive disorders, and rheumatism.

What I was blown away the most about receiving this gift from R. was the synchronistic nature of the gift and the fish fossil that is a part of it. She was in Costa Rica the week of Christmas which she told me included doing a ritual on the beach on the Solstice/full moon/eclipse. While she was there in Costa Rica doing her ritual I was here in the States a doing a similar ritual several days later on Christmas Eve. And what I included in that ritual was the desire to continue to let go of my feelings of hurt with D. and transform those feeling into ones of love.

While I’ve mentioned D. to R. and discussed the situation and my residual feelings many times, I’ve never mentioned the connection with fish and his email address. Nor have I discussed with her the fact that I write this blog which includes a derivation of fish (ghoti) in the name and that I use the nom de plume Ero Ghoti to write the blog.

So needless to say when I opened the bag and saw the design in the stone, the significance was not lost on me. There are times that R. amazes me as to how connected she is tho’ she hasn’t any kind of distinct mystic practice. She meditates and has had a great deal of training and experience with mindfulness. But for whatever reason has never really focused on mysticism in her practice. I believe she once told me that the reason she doesn’t explore it that much is that she uses her practice more for being grounded―which I can totally understand and respect.

But me, on the other hand, we both know what an airy faerie thing I can be. 

I can’t wait to begin wearing the necklace and see what magic the orthoceras holds for me.

As always sending you much love!