The Good, the Bad and the WTF?
Dearest D.,
I had the most interesting tête à tête weekend last with a fellow netizen. I stumbled upon a posting on craigslist that had your signature written all through the text. Perhaps it was you, or perhaps it was the twin son of a different mother who birthed upon this fair planet yet another pompously pretentious, clueless, self-appointed, so called guardian of the faith similar to yourself.
The post I came upon was written to chastise another individual who has commented on the activities of a regular poster in the “Strictly Platonic” M4M section of the site. The cross poster throughout his or her punitive diatribe attempted to make the case that the individual who called into question the activities of the regular poster was mean spirited and lacking in self awareness. And of course by the end of the aforementioned diatribe, made themselves look like as much, if not more, of the asshole they claimed the other person to be. Classic!
I of course upon reading the words “mean spirited” thought of you and the time you accused me of being such in a phone convo. Which at the time was as laughable to me as seeing the phrase used by a poster to berate another while being mean spirited themselves. It’s regretful that one doesn’t need to be a member of Mensa to use the interwebs.
The funniest thing about the interchange I had with the netizen who reminded me a great deal of you was the fact he or she spoke of how hilarious the lack of awareness and mean spiritedness of the person being admonished. When I pointed to the fact the hilarity of the situation was more that he or she was pointing the finger at another while being the same and stated perhaps the joke might be on he or she. This was met with ever more belligerent words claiming I was the joke. This due to the fact the poster assumed I was the individual he or she was chastising.
This brief, but all too familiar interchange, brought to the forefront of my mind memories of you and similar exchanges you and I had in the past.
At one moment in an email exchange you accused me of “putting words in your mouth”, but in a following email exchange used words of mine from previous emails out of context and essentially engaged in the exact behavior of which you accused me.You would often draw conclusions from the simplified and absolute moralistic viewpoint of things being either “good” or “bad”. I can only assume you did such as an attempt to bastardize the philosophies of New Thought thinkers repackaged as The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I say this given you made statements while we where together in real time that were obviously gleaned from either the DVD or the book.
What I find hilarious in this is that you exhibited the all too familiar psychological phenomenon known as the just-world effect in yet another way than the one I mentioned to you in a previous letter. Individuals engage in this behavior to comfort themselves and rationalize the feelings they have as a result of the awareness that they are not able to control all the circumstances and outcomes of life thereby creating a false sense of safety.
My own personal feeling in this is that many people use the just-world fallacy as technique to lessen the anxiety they feel for being assholes themselves. It’s always simpler to look at others and blame/accuse them of being the cause of one’s anxiety rather then search for the inner cause of it. That certainly appeared to be the case with you given you often exhibited an acute lack of self awareness. And of course this effect can often lead to many of what are known as cognitive distortions, all-or-nothing thinking (good/bad, black/white), overgeneralizing, mental filtering, jumping to conclusions, etc. Of course, many of which you exhibited when you were speaking with me.
As I always do when writing about you, I have to wonder why I put up with your dysfunctional behavior and went to such great lengths to keep such a pointless connection going. Most recently I have been working on being aware of my energetic resonance with others. The only thing I can assume is there was a great deal of resonance I felt with you−dysfunctional all the while. However, I have had the most amusing experience recently related to energetic resonance.
I posted an ad on craigslist last night seeking a romantic connection (as opposed to my usual looking for a hookup kind of ad). The one response I’ve gotten is from a gentleman who I’ve met before (we’ve hooked up twice). The funny thing is he reminds me a great deal of you, albeit being 11 years your senior. The two times we’ve hooked up, I’ve never gotten the sense that he was looking for anything more than momentary fun. However in his email to me this morning he told me that he’s looking for someone for a regular thing. So we’ll see.
I just hope my picker no longer continues to be broke.
As always sending you much love!
egtheghotilover@gmail.com
www.theghotiletters.com
@EroGhoti
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Sent via Blackberry
Hey VTR1000L. Thanks for the comment and the great feedback. TGL
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