Double U....Twice as nice.

My Dearest Friend,

The news of your leaving us came by way of a phone call to you on Thursday to check in on you and see if perhaps you’d be up for your weekly massage the following evening. I mistook the stranger’s voice that answered the phone for yours and greeted him with my usual enthusiastic, “Mr. O!”

The voice answered, “I’m sorry this is D.”.

“Hey D.!” I replied, “Is W. there by chance?”

“I’m sorry.” D. replied in a rather somber tone, “W. passed away early this morning.”

“Oh my god.” I answered, “I’m so sorry.”

“Yes.” D. continued “As you know he took a turn for the worst recently and he died earlier today.”

“Please let me know if there’s anything I can do.” I offered, “I’m a friend of W.’s and only live two miles away.”

“Thank you.” said D., “I’m W.’s brother-in-law. Me and his sister are up here for the day taking care of arrangements and will be leaving late this evening to return to North Carolina. However, we will be back up at the end of the month.”

“Yes. W. mentioned his sister often.” I replied. “Please let me give you my contact information. And let me know when you return.”

“Let me grab a pen and paper.” said D.

I gave him my phone number and email address and he assured me he would be in touch when he and your sister return to the area later this month. As I hung up the phone, I was filled with such an odd mix of emotions.

Initially there was the shock that you are gone and I will never see you again. That I will never again have the opportunity hear your voice, or share a meal with you and laugh while sharing the stories of all of my crazy adventures. The realization I have lost the one friend who had the courage to call me on my shit while at the same time loving me unconditionally despite my many imperfections and character defects and never walked away in the process.

I will miss you.

As the initial shock has worn off and I’ve begun to consider this loss and I’ve come to realize what I will miss about you most is the spiritual connection you and I shared. I have little doubt the reason we were drawn together that fate-filled evening almost three years ago to the day is due to our similar paths of spiritual development. You had often mentioned that you were new to game of all things woo woo. However, from what I observed you more than made up for it as your level of understanding of spiritual concepts and the practice you were able to create for yourself was nothing short of amazing.

One of the spiritual practices we shared was that of shamanism.

While we took differing paths and approaches, you being the consumate engineer decided to formally study with a disciple of Alberto Villoldo and me being the stereotypical free spirit I’ve learned what I know from personal experience and books I’ve read. Neither being better just different.

During one of the last conversations about such things, I had wanted to share a story with you in regard to a lesson I’d learned from some critters that had shown up in my apartment. However due to making the assumption the tale I was about to tell was in some way negative, you cut me off and wouldn’t let me finish it. I’d like to finish the story now.

There was a night about two months ago; I was having my far too typical difficult time sleeping. Rather than lie in bed and toss and turn as I might usually do I decided to get up and make some chamomile tea. When I arrived in the kitchen I discovered ants were invading from the ground floor. While at first I was highly irritated at the discovery, after I considered it for a moment and realized the ants obviously showed up to give me a message.

As I watched them scurrying to and fro, I realized they must have been highly motivated to travel four stories in search of food. Given I’d never had this experience before the debacle of a roofing project undertaken by the lunatic former prez, I came to realize they were providing me affirmation of my suspicion that there is a serious issue with my condo building.

Becoming every more intrigued with the ants over the next couple of days, I did a quick Google search one day as to what their totemic meaning might be and here’s what I found.

Ants are the ultimate laborers. They live in a communal colony, sharing menial tasks and food sources. Underneath the ant hill that we see on our lawns and gardens is an elaborate living quarters. Ants as totems teach the value of work and getting along with others. They also teach the importance of community as a unit. Ants live within a caste system, a queen ant, mates for the queen, guards to protect the queen, and laborers. When ant appears you may need to evaluate the role you are playing in your current life situation. We can’t all be queens. Laborers do have value! Team work offers rewards. However, if you feel you are enslaved by circumstance ant totem showing up could mean that it is time to break away from current associations with others and take a solitary path for awhile.¹

What those little ants were attempting to communicate to me more than anything is that it’s time for a change. As you’re well aware from all of the conversations we shared about it. I continue to struggle with how to handle the situation with my condo. However through the assistance of the ants, I’ve decided it’s time to let this place go and move on (quite literally). It’s time to seek a community where, like the ants, there is a sense of purpose of working together to make things better for everyone. As I’ve come to realized such a thing will never be found here.

For this I feel sad.

Dear friend, I pray you made your journey well. How I wish you might tell me about your adventure. And who knows, perhaps yet you may.

Sending you much love!