Dearest Mary M.,

I found have myself in the most unusual circumstances over the past several weeks. Through each moment since and while I sit here drafting this letter to you, I’m not exactly sure what to make of my situation. I would like to believe I’m on to something good. However, given this has to do with romance, and given my recent past experience(s) in that regard, it’s difficult—if not nearly impossible—for me to remain positive in attitude. However, I will do my best.

A few weeks ago I posted ye olde hook up ad on Craigslist (CL). I was horny and looking for a little fun. However, lately as I’ve been placing these ads on CL, I’ve tried to shift my mindset to be open to the possibility I may find a gentleman with whom I might form a connection with a little more stickiness than a random encounter. There have been a couple instances that have proven to be rather interesting and intriguing in that regard.

As I mentioned in a letter to Alan Turing recently, the Sunday before Xmas I had a gentleman (P.) show up at my door for a little fun between the sheets. I could tell from the moment he walked in my apartment there was something a little different about him and that he wasn’t like most of the guys who show up just looking to get a little for themselves and be on their way.

As he walked into the apartment, P. immediately began to notice little things here and there and just a moment after being in my humble abode said with genuine warmth, “You’ve got a really nice place here.”

“Thanks.” I replied, “The place needs a little work. But I’m getting there. Along those lines, check out these paint chips.” I said as I retrieved them from the dining room table.

“This color a charcoal black aptly named Twilight Zone is what I’m going to use here under the heating conduit.” I pointed out just above our heads. “And this color a lovely burnt orange called Navajo Red, is going on that wall and this wall.” I explained further as I pointed to the wall leading into my condominium and the opposing wall that houses the sliding glass door leading out onto the balcony.

“Nice!” he replied as scoped out the apartment more.

“I was really looking for more of a charcoal grey color for the heating conduit. But I chose this color solely for the name as I wanted to be able to joke that I live in the Twilight Zone—quite literally.”

P. let out the sweetest laugh at my juvenile humor.

Shortly thereafter, we were in the bedroom and rolling around in the sheets, exploring each other’s bodies and all the while sharing our life experiences which had lead to the moment in time where our paths had thus crossed.

P. shared with me that he’s separated from his wife at the moment and trying to get his bearings. He explained that he identifies himself as bisexual and while he’s had a number of male sexual partners he’s never been in a relationship with a guy that included an emotional component. He went on to explain that his wife was aware of his attraction to men and was perfectly open to the idea of him having sex outside of the relationship, provided he was open and honest about it.

However, he wasn’t and his wife discovered this fact.

Shortly thereafter as we were getting deeper and deeper into the pleasuring portion of the program P. began to say romantic things such as “My sweet lover, I want to make you feel so good.”

Mary, I have to tell you it really began to freak me out.

And at one point, while I straddling P., I rested my head on his shoulder and said, “Ummm. You’re beginning to freak me out a little here sweet thing.”

“Why?” P. inquired.

“Well. You’re the kind of guy I’ve always hoped to find. You’re self-aware; you’re obviously working to get to know yourself better and I’m going to assume in addition you most likely have some kind of spiritual leaning as well.”

“And this is a problem?” P. offered rather inquisitively.

“No. It’s not a problem. More frustrating really, as I get the sense that you’re not looking for anything more than fun.”  I sighed.

“Not true.” P. offered in return, “I’d like to explore dating a guy and see if I might be able to develop some kind of emotional relationship with a man. And was thinking maybe I can try with you.”

“Really?” I replied raising my torso from his somewhat thrown by this revelation. “I’m open to the idea. But…”

“But you’d like a little more courtship here and less the feeling of a hook up?” P. inquired further as he looked into my eyes.

“Well yeah.” I laughed, “I’m not a complete tart! A guy does like to be romanced a little.”

“Then maybe a hike along the C&O sometime soon?” he chuckled.

“That would be fabulous!” I said as my lips met his.

Flash forward two weeks to last Friday.

When I got up that morning and checked my email, I had a message from a gentleman J. who answered the same advert as P. which included the following, “Working in south Arlington today near Columbia Pike and four mile run Dr. How close is that?” sent at approximately 7 a.m. I responded to let him know that I’d be home all day and that he was approximately three to four miles away.

Nearly moments after I left the apartment at 11:30 to run a few quick errands, he pinged me to let me know that he was almost done and if he didn’t hear from me that he’d be heading out. I returned with a reply that I’d be home at approximately 1:30 and let me know if it would work. He responded to the affirmative.

Long story short…he was at my apartment shortly after 2.

Due to a hiccup with the entraguard system I had to go down to let him in the front door of the building. As I descended the final stair and began toward the door, I was little unsure as to what I might have gotten myself into. At the door stood a gentleman in the stereotypical union blues indicative of his line of work. However, what was most curious about J. was the fact that he was sporting a rather bushy beard and tufts of his hair were standing on end giving him a look not unlike Christopher Lloyd in his younger days.

“Hey. What’s up?” I asked as I opened the door to let him in.

“Not much,” J. replied rather sheepishly as he popped in the front door.

“Com’on up.” I pointed as I started up the stairs.

As we entered the apartment, I told J. I need to finish up a banana that I’d just peeled and was having for lunch with a little Nutella.

“Not a problem.” He replied as he followed me into the kitchen.

We stood talking for a few moments. During which he confessed he was a little nervous about coming into a stranger’s house. I explained I understood his fear and knowing that I always try to be as welcoming as possible and make whomever is in my home feel comfortable.

“Thanks, really nice.” replied J. “I bet I don’t look anything like you imagined. Huh?”

“Well…” I began, “I was expecting the blue shirt and pants. But the beard…”

“It gets really cold outside so I grow it a little longer in the winter.” J. started to explain.

“It’s not a problem.” I laughed, “Actually in some kind of weird way I find it a turn on.”

Approximately 90 minutes later after having the most incredible orgasm I’ve had with someone other than myself in quite a long time J. started to get dressed.

“Ummm.” I began, “Not sure where you are or what’s going on with you, but I want you to know I really enjoyed meeting you and would like to do it again, and maybe even hang out a little before or after if you’d be up for it.”

“I’m really busy but that sounds nice.” J. looked at me rather quizzically.

“Oh, no pressure or expectations here,” I explained, “It’s just you’re a really cool guy and I don’t often meet guys like you. So it would be nice to keep in touch and do it again if we can.”

“You’re a really cool guy too.” J. offered relaxing a little. “Let’s see what we can do.”

As we were standing in the living room engaged in more small talk before he left, we got to joking about how clueless people can be in this area these days. And one of the things I mentioned is the fact people will walk right out into oncoming traffic and joking I said, “I like to think of it as Darwinism in action. If someone is dumb enough to walk out into traffic, well all the more for me. Right?”

J. shot me the oddest look.

“Oh my,” I began to offer in explanation, “That probably sounds a little mean-spirited doesn’t it?”

J. chuckled and said, “No actually it’s kind of funny. Do you ever read the Darwin awards?”

“It’s been years since I’ve seen them. But I know what you’re talking about.” I replied.

“There’s a guy you have to look up. He rigged a bunch of weather balloons to a lawn chair and went for an extended launch over Los Angeles with sandwiches, a six pack of beer and a B.B. gun.” J. laughed.

“Ummm. Sounds like I definitely have to look this character up.” I chuckled in return.

“Yeah, as they were arresting him he told the press, ‘a man can’t just sit around’.” J. chuckled as he opened the front door sporting a goodbye grin.

Finally on Monday with little else to do while enjoying the day off for New Year’s, I decided to look the story up and discovered the tale of one Larry Walters, or Lawnchair Larry as he became known in the land of urban legend.

As I read through the Wikipage for dear Lawnchair Larry, something popped out when I got to the portion of the entry that mentions cultural references to Larry. In the section about film it mentions that Pixar’s film Up features a house being lifted by hundreds of helium filled balloons. Okay, that’s f*cking weird, I thought as read this and let out a good long chuckle making the missed connection from days earlier.

J. has mentioned he’d like to come over again and possibly have a sleep over if schedules perhaps sync.

Can you help me out a little here good Mary?

-e

eg
theghotilover@gmail.com
www.theghotiletters.com
@EroGhoti