Hot Butterfly! - Taken by TGL

Dearest D,

I got the most timely of messages (as the Universe always seems to send) the other day in part of an email push. I get daily email blasts from a website called Care2.com. They mined my email address from an e-card I got from a guy several months ago that he sent from their site. Normally, I would be rather pissed by such a circumstance. But, the email newsletters usually have really good information in them. So in the end it works out for the best.

In a newsletter sent out on the 29th of August, there was a link to an articled entitled “Get Closure By Licking an Envelope.” It’s an article about letting go of negative emotions by writing letters and putting them in envelopes and sealing them and the benefits of engaging in such an activity. Of course it made me think of you and the letters I’ve been writing to you.

There is a part of me who once again believes it’s time to stop writing letters to you. That perhaps by engaging in the activity, I’m keeping the negative emotions that I have attached to the memories of you alive and feeding energetically. However, there is also a part of me that doesn’t want to let go of you. Let go of the feelings of how much I enjoyed being around you and spending time with you.

In so many ways, I’m truly at a loss…

I want to let go of you but fuck it’s hard. I find myself unable to trust others and believe that I won’t get hurt again.

And of course the Universe, as it always does, seems to be playing with me at the moment. I say this as I’ve had a couple of rather unusual circumstances occur over the past couple of days.

On Monday, somewhat as a joke, and somewhat not, I posted an ad on Craigslist making reference to a line in the song be Ke$ha, Your Love is My Drug. I created a post with the title “Make My Heart Beat Like An 808 Drum” and in the text of the message made reference to the pet name I used to call you, the fact that your birthday was recently, and asked that you call me. Well. I got one hit from the posting and there was a bit of weird quantum entanglement associated with it.

It was from a guy who responded to the faux personal ad I created on Yahoo! personals to keep track of your activity there. He responded to my posting on Craigslist to say that his birthday was recently, he too just turned 40, and wondered who I might be seeking. I responded with my version of what happened between you and me and he ever so kindly wished for me that my heart might mend and my wish may come true. WTF?

Then today needing a little something-something to ease my bruised heart and my aching loins I put an ad on Craiglist for a quickie. I got a response from a gentleman named A. Who mentioned that he could be over in the afternoon after work if that was good. I responded to the affirmative that the afternoon would work.

He arrived at four and we spent the better part of an hour being sexually playful and enjoying the pleasure of bringing such to each other. I felt such an odd comfort with him. There was a natural flow with the give and take. No nervousness or awkwardness that I typically feel with someone.

He has the most beautiful blue eyes.

After he got dressed and was getting ready to leave, we gave each other a good long bear hug goodbye. He purred into my ear in the most sexy of ways as he pulled away, “I definitely want to see you again.”

“I would like that very much.” I said as I popped the deadbolt lock on the door and opened it for him to head off into the afternoon rush hour.

Perhaps if I’m lucky after all, my wish will come true.

As always sending you much love!

TGL
theghotilover@gmail.com
www.theghotiletters.com

P.S. Got the strangest keyword hit today to the biddy biddy blog. It was “encouraging words to pursue a[n] unavailable lover” I had to chuckle at the irony.