Let's tear the roof off the sucka!

Dearest St. Rita,

I’m not sure what’s going on, however, it appears to me you’ve conspired with someone to put me through some kind of serious changes as of late that may rival those of dear Job. I’m not complaining mind you, as you know, I’m all about the peeling back the layers and undergoing personal transformation even if it includes breaking out in hives or boils. I just wasn’t counting on feeling and looking like I’m five once again—quite literally.

It seems somehow, unbeknownst to me, I have managed to let myself get run down enough to get a case of shingles. This is rather odd, as I’m neither in any way stressed out nor have I been ill. So the answer to the cause is a bit of a mystery. However, I have a spot on my abdomen almost exactly between the pubic mound and my navel and a spot on inner portion of my left forearm.

When I called my friend M. the other night to let her know that I’d finished up the greeting cards I was making her we found our way to the subject and I told her about the situation. She expressed that her feeling was there’s an underlying energetic cause for them, I told her I was inclined to agree given I’d been having other issues as well for the past couple of weeks—one of them being my gallbladder.

After I got off the phone with M., I pulled out my copy of Heal Your Body by Louise Hay and looked up both gallbladder (gallstones) and shingles (and associated symptoms) and here is what she has to say about the energetic associations of each.

Gallstones
Cause: Bitterness, Hard thoughts. Condemning. Pride
Affirmation: There is joyous release of the past. Life is sweet, and so am I

Shingles
Cause: Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Fear and Tension. Too sensitive
Affirmation: I am relaxed and peaceful because I trust the process of life. All is well in my world.

Aches (symptom of Shingles)
Cause: Longing for love. Longing to be held.
Affirmation: I love and approve of myself. I am loving and lovable.

Itching (symptom of Shingles)
Cause: Desires that go against the grain. Unsatisfied. Remorse. Itching to get out or get away.
Affirmation: I am at peace just were I am. I accept my good. Knowing all my needs and desires will be fulfilled.

Issues with the Abdomen
Represents: Fear. Stopping the Process
Affirmation: I trust the process of life. I am safe.

Issues with the Arms
Represents: The capacity and ability to hold the experiences of life.
Affirmation: I lovingly hold and embrace my experiences with ease and with joy.

Issues on the Left Side of the Body.
Represents: Receptivity, taking in, feminine energy, women, the mother [creativity]
Affirmation: My feminine energy is beautifully balanced.

Oh wow, I thought as I set the book down on my desk after reading through each of the entries and then thought, what the f*ck is going on?

As I sat and considered the situation further, the one thing that popped out at me was the issue in regard to the gallbladder (“bitterness, hard thoughts. condemning. pride”). If there is one (or several) thing(s) that resonate(s) with me presently, it’s all of the things Louise L. Hay attributes to gallbladder dysfunction. As I find myself in a place where I continue to think hard thoughts and that’s in regard to MMRFRO. Oh how I wish I could sit here and type that I’ve come to a fundamental place of forgiveness as to what happened between the two of us. However, if I examine my feelings with rigorous honesty, I’m no where close to forgiving D. for what happened. Which I’m sure in no part leads to the manifestation of the shingles, particularly the associated aches. It doesn’t take Freud to analyze that one.

As I was talking with M. again last night, we once again began to discuss my current condition of itchiness and aches. While we were talking about it M. pulled out her copy of Heal Your Body and we began to process the situation in tandem.

I mentioned that the “waiting for the other shoe to drop” and “fear and tension” aspects kind of make sense as I have a great deal going on which would lead to such feelings. However, I told M. the strangest thing is that I don’t feel the typical physical manifestations of stress such as raised blood pressure, body tension and sweaty palms, etc.

“But that doesn’t mean you’re not feeling the effects on an energetic level.” M. countered. “And hello, you’re no doubt sitting in your apartment anticipating the arrival of spring and all of the noise from the air conditioning units above you that haven’t been fixed.”

“Uh yeah.” I chuckled, “I totally forgot about that.”

“Hello! Just because you’re not consciously thinking about it doesn’t me your body is not reacting to it.” M. laughed as well.

“I just thought of something else.” I offered M.

“And what is that?” she asked.

“Well I have had this idea for a novel gestating for about a year now and I recently decided that I want to sit down and begin to write it. So I’m working with a couple of books to get myself motivated and in gear to write it.” I said.

“Sounds exciting!” M. replied.

“It is.” I continued, “But here’s the funny part. The first night I discovered the shingles was last Sunday evening right after I got done completing the first writing exercises in the one book that I’m using.”

“Okay. That’s classic!” laughed M. “Have you ever really wanted to do something but when you were just close enough to taste it there is an event or circumstance that throws you off course?”

I laughed and said, “Uh no. That’s NEVER happened to me!”

“Good.” M. chuckled, “Nice to know it’s only me.”

“Yes. Ironic isn’t it…” I followed up with M., “I’m beginning to undertake a creative process that’s very personal and requires a great deal of proverbial nerve and what happens? My fears and insecurities manifest themselves in a nerve-related ailment.”

“Bingo!” M. chuckled, “As I said, classic!”

I got the most curious hit to the biddy biddy blog the other day. It was from near Grand Isle, Vermont and what are two towns on the island? North and South Hero. I had to laugh as one of the books that I’m using in my efforts to write my first novel—The Writer’s Journey. Which is about what? The hero’s journey.

I think the Universe it trying to tell me something.

Please give a hug to Mr. Wilde for me!